Planning ahead...
November 29, 2004
Some things to do before the Inaugural:
- Get that abortion you’ve always wanted.
- Drink a nice clean glass of water.
- Cash your social security check.
- See a doctor of your own choosing.
- Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
- Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
- Get that gas mask you’ve been putting off buying.
- Hoard gasoline.
- Borrow books from library before they’re banned
- Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
- If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
- Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
- Jam in all the Alzheimer’s stem cell research you can.
- Stay out late before the curfews start.
- Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his “accident”.
- Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
- Use the phrase - “you can’t do that - this is America”.
- If you’re white - marry a black person, if you’re black - marry a white person.
- Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
- Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
- Start your school day without a prayer.
- Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
- Learn French.
- Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
- Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
- Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
- Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
- Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
- Visit Alaska before “The Big Spill”.
- Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
Disclaimer: this was making the rounds of e-mail; I have no idea who the originator/author is.